The Best in LGBTQ+ Books by Michael Hunter McVay
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Not too far from the Mississippi town of West Point, there was a lumber mill. They would let people load up on sawdust at no charge. We built a shitty little barn for our new house out in the country, and Guy decided that he wanted to put sawdust down for the flooring in the barn. He gathered up his five-gallon buckets and put them in the back of his work truck. We drove out to the lumberyard and the place for picking up free sawdust was next to a railroad track. We had to park across the street on the other side of the railroad track, meaning I would have to walk across the street, up a bank, then across the railroad track for each five-gallon bucket of sawdust that I could haul. Guy hadn’t thought this one through at all. Guy filled a container, while I was loading up mine. The saw dust was in a giant mountain, shaped like an upside-down cone.
It was very tall, and sawdust was continuously blowing out from a large pipe at the top. Guy told me to climb up higher into the pile because too much of the sawdust that I was getting at the bottom was wet. He wanted dry sawdust. The higher I tried to climb, the more I was sinking down into the sawdust. I was holding the bucket above my head and trying to climb up, but soon I was waste deep. Guy knew I was going to sink because he was laughing as I climbed. He continued telling me to climb higher and I was telling him that it was difficult and that I was sinking. He told me, “You can’t sink on wood.” So, I told him, “Then you try it.” Yeah, you already know that got him pissed. He didn’t try climbing at all. He didn’t want to get dirty. I was filthy but trying to keep from getting sawdust in my eyes. I saw myself as that little dog on “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” with the sawdust mountain as Mt. Crumpet and starring Guy as the loathsome Grinch.
We spent hours pouring bucket after bucket of sawdust into the back of his work truck. Once he figured there was enough, we filled the buckets and sat them on top of the sawdust that we spent the entire day loading. This was when I knew Guy was stupid. I could see it myself. I dusted off and sat back down in the truck. Guy looked angry and he said, I wasn’t going to do anything until I got the entire truck unloaded at the barn. We started for home; I was watching the sawdust blowing out of the back of the truck. The house was a few miles out in the country. After a while, Guy noticed the saw dust flying out and he slowed down. He drove another mile or so and pulled over. More than half of the sawdust was already gone. The bastard told me to lay in the back of the truck to keep the sawdust from blowing out. I know, seriously. I laid down on top of what sawdust was left and Guy pulled back on to the road.
I couldn’t see anything due to the tiny bits of dust in my eyes, lungs, and every orifice. It was all blowing out and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it, but I frantically tried to look like I was making the effort to hold it down. By the time we were sailing down the hill toward the house, it was almost all gone. This was so stupid. Even the sawdust from the buckets was nearly all gone. When Guy backed the truck to the barn, there might have been five gallons of saw dust left in the entire back of the truck. I got out and shook off. My eyes were burning, and I was wheezing from breathing in so much of the dust. I think the bastard did the whole damn thing on purpose. I scooped out all the bits I could get with my hands and dropped it onto the ground in the barn. It covered about one square foot. Guy said, “Fuck it! Go shower.” I went in the house to clean up and Guy parked the work truck back in the driveway. I never told anyone what that idiot had done until now. No tarp, no sense, just dumb. If we had at least picked the wet sawdust, more of it would have made it home. Guy, who wasn’t dusty and dirty sat his ass down and found some football to watch in the den. Dumbass.
ISBN-13 979-8726132778
Are you ready to take another wild ride? Let’s venture into the life of someone who suffers from complex PTSD. Michael, Little Boy Blacker & Bluer, is a continuing saga which chronicles the life and the experiences of an LGBTQ+ youth who endured unimaginable mental and physical abuse and violence starting at the age of five, in the early 1960s, continuing through the gay movement and Anita Bryant years of the 1970s, the AIDS epidemic, and its backlash of the 1980s and beyond, which resulted in his development of complex PTSD, BDD, and other health conditions.
This time, we see more of the stories he wasn’t brave enough or ready to share the first time. Like the other books by Michael, this one comes from a mind that had to develop and adapt very differently at an early age. He explains why and how he thinks the way he does, and why he has come to accept it. He takes us into his explanations of life and death, but deeper than before and he shares a very sick and twisted, painful event where he lets you know what was going on in his head while his young body was being ravaged and brutalized – coping mechanisms.
This companion edition covers events and people not fully explored in the first book as well as providing a deeper voyage into self-healing. Michael refused to be bound by his past, but he found that it had a way of catching up to him when least expected. His, is a story of pain, loss and torment, but it also serves as an example of hope, perseverance and resilience. We also get a closer look at his life’s passions, through many images of his doll and miniature collections. Through his journey, he was able to overcome the temptations of suicide, drugs, sexual abuse and torture to become a successful artist, a teacher and a miniaturist, all while searching for someone that he never knew he had lost. This book is a must, if you have read the first book. Try it too, if you haven’t read it! 18+
I WAS the extremely underweight child.
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“Michael, Little Boy Black & Blue: Surviving the Effects of a Poisonous Child Abuser”
ISBN-13 979-8701820690
The inspiring survival story of a Mississippi boy who experienced decades of abuse and torture at the hands of a maniac! Michael, Little Boy Black & Blue, chronicles the life and the experiences of an LGBTQ+ youth who endured unimaginable mental and physical abuse and violence starting at the age of five, in the early 1960s, continuing through the gay movement and Anita Bryant years of the 1970s, the AIDS epidemic, and its backlash of the 1980s and beyond, which resulted in Michael’s development of severe complex PTSD, BDD, and other health conditions.
Michael and his mother were both brutalized by a lumbering 6’8″ violent man who took extreme delight in his own insanity, brutality and cruelty. “Punishments” continued through high school, and Michael’s early adulthood. He takes you with him during some of these horrific events and he describes exactly how he feels while experiencing these things, but he puts enough humor in to his writing to make it less painful, and he lets you know what he was really thinking while being brutalized. When he fell in love with a school mate, all Hell broke loose, and a life was lost.
Michael refused to be bound by his past, but he found that it had a way of catching up to him when least expected. His, is a story of pain, loss and torment, but it also serves as an example of hope, perseverance and resilience. Through his journey, he was able to overcome the temptations of suicide, drugs, sexual abuse and torture to become a successful artist, a teacher and a miniaturist, all while searching for someone that he never knew he had lost. He wrote this first book as an exercise in healing and coping, but he discovered that he could share what comes from a mind that adapted and developed differently with others. If you have ever felt different from others, this book is for you. Go on the journey. You are safe. 18+
Read excerpts or buy your copy at
https://www.michaelhuntermcvay.com
or at Amazon, Available in Kindle or paperback
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ISBN-13 979-8710324011
After going through a breakup with her significant other in Texas, Fern suddenly finds herself washing out her cooter in a lake in Meridian, Mississippi. Fern is an adventurous young go-getter who loves to dance, drink, smoke, and unwittingly turn everyone’s world upside down by her mere presence alone! In Meridian, Fern finds and falls in love with a hard-working, career man, Curtis, who soon becomes entangled in her unhinged web of insanity, promiscuity, and utter ridiculousness. Curtis is openly gay – but this is no Will & Grace story!
Once Fern is cut loose, all Hell breaks loose! Maybe she means well, but her efforts rarely end as intended. Fern goes after whatever she wants, and no one seems to stand in her way, but her life is a puzzle, and there are several pieces missing! This true story of real people will drive you nuts! A few names may have been changed to protect the guilty, but the situations are real and several people gave the okay to leave their names as is. Oh my! You will meet a variety of unforgettable and lovable characters whose lives are forever changed after meeting “Wayward Fern!” Would you take her in? Find out why you should…..or shouldn’t! There is literally no turning back. Buckle up and take a wild ride on the complex PTSD slide! 18+
Have you ever felt a little different?
Are great LGBTQIA+ inclusive books hard to find?
What about approaching topics like complex PTSD and BDD?
Real, true-life stories of love, lust, torment, betrayal, abuse, passion, joy, and pain. Written with enough humor, an occasional tinge of sarcasm and inspiration from the heart. Click to read more or to see excerpts. Please enjoy!
https://www.michaelhuntermcvay.com/
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Michael Hunter McVay